Saturday, June 16, 2012

It is Ok to Love those that Hurt Us

Forgiveness and the realization of forgiveness is essential for our personal and spiritual growth.  It allows us to let go and welcome the beginning of something new and much more splendorous.  So many of us had to face horrors as a child and some more than others were brutal to the point of the unimaginable.  This small essay is about forgiving, understanding, acknowledging and finally letting go of those dark times in our past.

5/3/12  FOR MY FATHER WHO I LOVE:  Thank you for loving me and being one of my greatest teachers.  I just figured it out!  It only took about 30 yrs!LOL

It is Ok to love those that hurt us.  Most often the ones that have hurt us in the worst and most vile ways have been those we trusted and loved most.  We have always been told that it is Ok to be angry and upset and feel every negative emotion towards that being.  Ridicule and therapy await those that love the offender despite the offensive action.  We are basically told that it is NOT Ok to feel any kind of compassion or empathy towards such a being.  You do, and you get labeled with a  “syndrome” of some kind.  

As children, we view those hurting us with a blend of disbelief and confusion and when the offender is someone close to us like a parent, friend or relative the confusion is even more profound.  “I love this being but I hate what they are doing.”  
How is it possible to love and hate at the same time? 
  I think that as children we are the purest of souls.  We love with abandonment. We live in the moment.  When an action causes us irrevocable harm and pain, we have to dig deep within the depths of ourselves to find a saving cord that will let  us hang on when all else is stripped away.  

It is here that we find Unconditional Love and the saving grace that will lift us from the depths of despair.  In doing so, we save ourselves and the one that is causing us harm.  We hold on to it for dear life and we don’t let go.  The moment stays with us, becomes a part of us, defines us and the path we take from that moment on.  The moment is preserved within us to revisit again and again so that in due time when we are ready to face it with new eyes and an open heart we may understand the why.  Once the why is understood, the eyes see and the heart breathes once again.  Every beat of your heart is a realization and ripples of understanding emanate from your very being into the infiniteness of your soul.  The heart is free to expand and lead once again.  Magic once again inhabits your reality and imagination abounds.  The face of your nightmares morphs into the loving face of yourself.  No ones has power over you any longer.  You are beauty incarnate and infinite.  No one can contain you but your infinite heart.  It is there that we all reside and live and expand and experience and grow and learn and eventually realize and remember the true and awesome beauty of us.

WARNING!!!  This part is not so poetic but it is nonetheless true and although it may sound a little harsh, it is said from a loving heart that has had the experience to know it is very much true.  Be wiser than I and go within yourself to find the answer to those tough questions before you hit bottom.  The lessons don't have to get harder and more difficult if you will just find that Love that resides within each one of us.  Love yourself first.   Forgive yourself first.  Change the perception of who you are First.  Rediscover how incredible and lovable you are First.  You do this and everything will start to fall into place.  This I can promise you...This I have experienced First.  

Now, Remember:

Without unconditional love, there can be no true forgiveness.  You may forgive on such a superficial manner that your mind accepts and you may even forget but the heart remembers all.  Sooner or later it WILL comeback and bite you.  Deny the dog its due and it will come at you with a vengeance.   Lessons in life are like that.  They have to be not only acknowledged but learned!  Ignoring them is really not an option.  You don’t learn the first time, the next will be harder and more intense.  Same lesson, different scenario. And it will continue on and on and on  that vein until you get it, until you learn!  So remember, deal with it now.  The next lesson will not be so easily dismissed.

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