Monday, June 18, 2012

Contemplation of Change

I was sitting on my sofa yesterday in a quiet and 

rather still state when a thought intruded into my consciousness in a rather 

gentle manner but nonetheless undeniably firm: "Something has changed, 

Something is different. I am changed. I am different". I looked around but 

everything was as it should be and as I remembered. I hadn't grown gold hair, 

my eyes were the same color as given to me at birth yet something had 

changed. When I asked what happened, all I got was a smile. I feel strangely 

calm, centered. It is as if I was sprinting and rushing to get somewhere or at 

something and had finally gotten there at the last minute. The words, "the 

frenzy is over" found their way into my being but I don't understand them. 

Where was I trying to get? What frenzy is over? What has changed in what 

way? I feel the same yet different. Did something happen yesterday that I am 

not yet aware of? Have the ripples not reached me yet? I've had a feeling like 

this before and it brought about great upheaval in our lives but this one feels 

different because I am no longer that same person. Fear no longer rules me so 

I ask again what does this mean? All is quiet and I am still left with my 

question. What puzzle piece am I missing? What question am I not asking? I 

think I will find my answer in a question but I don't know what to ask.  

Can you shed a light my way? I am not in a state of confusion...far from it...I 

am in a state of wonder and contemplation but darn if I know what I am 

looking at!!

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